Friendship

It’s been a week, that’s for sure. Still reeling from the loss of my friend, focus had been hard to come by.

 

 

 

I guess that’s where I’ll start. With friendship.

 

 

 

 

I vest myself deeply in my family and friends. If I’ve got it to give, if I’ve the time or capacity to do or go, I will. And sometimes, even when I really don’t have. And, sometimes, when I probably shouldn’t. [sometimes “helping” isn’t really helping]

 

Then again, sometimes helping is a great risk. To express love, to venture past tacit boundaries, offer advice, er, I mean, counsel. Sometimes it’s a hug or a smile, or a word of encouragement, “thinking of you today.” I know what that means to me when I get those random words and smiles. A candy bar, or a favorite treat. It’s what friendships are made of, it’s what relationships are made of.

 

 

 

 

I’ve so many circles of friends, so wide-spread, I’ve a very full heart. I’ve my “inner core” friends, I guess they’re my “besties.” They know me better and longer than anyone else, have been through hell and high water with me, watched me grow, watched me struggle and hurt, watched me learn, watched me fly – flown with me. They’ve encouraged me in ways that defy definition, the little things – like candy bars, or a butterfly window catcher (purple of course) – and the big things – standing in prayer, giving an ear [or IM chat box] when I need someone, a hug when I’m broken. We laugh, at the silliest things – more importantly, we laugh at the same things. Which I guess is part of what defines friendship. Because of distance, we don’t “hang out” often – and when we do it’s the more cherished for it.

 

 

 

 

There are those who comprise my “outer core,” nearly as bonded as the “besties” but perhaps a little less vested. I’m blessed to have many in this outer core, those who lift me and encourage me, laugh with me and talk with me. I know I can count on them, turn to them when I’m hurting or lonely or sad. They are prayer partners, but they are more than that. We are sisters – a few brothers, too – bonded in love, and in laughter.

 

“Mantle” friends, the most vast category. Those who I count as friends but don’t interact with often or frequently, or on the regular. There is connection but not the same bond. Laughter, maybe a cup of coffee, a helping hand. Perhaps a shoulder when there are tears. Co-workers, classmates, the random person that makes “the connect.” I count them friends, I like having friends, and I like having lots.

 

Of course, there’s the “crust.” And because I would place a miserly few in the category of enemy, there are those who are on the fringe of friendship, and they are indeed, “crusty.” You know how it goes, you greet, ask politely what’s up, nod, smile. But there’s no genuine interest, no real concern, lacks the “connect.” And maybe this isn’t really a “friend” category. Maybe “meh” is a more apt classification. “Meh,” I’ll stick with my “crust.” All good pies have to have a crust.

 

 

 

 

Family all fall into one of the divisions. You know, some are barely a crust, while some are infinitely a core bestie. There’s the black sheep – and they could be core or crust – there’s always the family clown, and the family melodramatist, the matriarch or patriarch, the rock-solid cousin who’s always there.

 

I count friendship a privilege, and open easily, sometimes too easily, readily, to friendship. I am open, transparent, honest. I’m alone much of the time, and lonely, and that’s hard. I’m an enigma: I cherish my alone time [my Holy time, my creativity time] yet I relish social time.

 

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was invisible. Or she thought she was invisible, felt that way at least. And when she felt people were staring at her, she wished she was invisible. That little girl was me. Hello, my name is Robin, and I’m a recovering invisiblet. I wasn’t shy, I was terrified. And that made it quite difficult to make friends. Or to be a friend.

 

So now, I’m making up for lost time, in a sense. Truly, I’m gaining the maturity and the gift Papa has placed in me all along. That of having friends. That of being a friend.

 

And of course, I would be remiss if I neglected the greatest Friend of all, Jesus. He’s the Friend Who is always with me [sheesh, do I ever need that reminder!!!] He’s the Friend Who knows me best, and yet never turns His back on me. Never turns me away, or denies me a moment of His time. Of course, He has saved me from my sins and all that “religious” stuff, but He’s my Friend, He’s the Friend Who never leaves my side, Who always has my back. He knows my secrets – and tells me His. And yes, He laughs with me, and cries with me. He feels my pain, and shares my joy. As all good friends should and do. He walks with me, and talks with me – as all good friends should and do.

 

 

 

 

I’ve friends in all avenues, at every turn. I tend to make friends easily, and stay true. Even when it becomes a memory.