BLOGWORDS – 20 March 2017 – NEW WEEK NEW FACE – GUEST POST – DAVID STEARMAN
NEW WEEK NEW FACE – GUEST POST – DAVID STEARMAN
A child once prayed, “Lord, please make all the bad people good, and all the good people nice.” Profundity. Out of the mouths of babes… Because so many of us…Christians, that is, i.e. the self appointed “good people” as it were, find ourselves lacking in the common grace of kindness.
I believe this has to do with the way we see on another. Because we do fairly well with these things when it comes to strangers and acquaintances. We do our best not to insult, act rudely, or speak offensively to those with whom we have little contact. But there’s truth in old country proverb that goes, “familiarity breeds contempt”, and once we get to know these folks a little better, we begin to notice our golden idol’s feet of clay. We look beyond their gleaming virtues to their faults. And the more and more familiar we become with these, our new friends, the more glaring their faults can appear, and the more critical of them we can become.
Enter a critical spirit. A judgmental attitude. Disrespect. And unkindness, on our part.
I believe this has to do with our focus – what we see when we’re seeing them. And nowhere is this principal more evident than in marital relationships. If a woman is not careful of her focus, that Knight in Shining Armor can morph before her eyes into an irresponsible brat. Conversely, the Queen of any Man’s Dreams can appear to him as the Wicked Witch of the West. Because the fact remains that none of us are perfect. Especially us, when we’re resentful and rude toward the ones we love.
Remember when you first met your true love? They were smart, witty, funny, and wonderful. How you admired their admirable qualities. How your heart lit up with love when they walked into the room.
Well guess what? That person, with those attributes, is still there. The positive qualities we first saw in our spouses still exist. Can you still see them? I believe you can, but sometimes not without putting forth the effort to change your habitual focus.
One man sees a sunset and grumbles, “Tough day. Glad that’s over.”
Another lifts his voice to pray, “How beautiful is the handiwork of God.”
Same scene, different perspective, different attitude. What do you see when you see the love of your life?
I was speaking in a church one evening when the Holy Spirit spoke to me about a couple in the room. I didn’t know them, or even which couple they might be among the many in attendance that night. All I knew was that the Lord was telling me there was a man and woman in the service who were contemplating giving up on their marriage, and that He was instructing me to give them some advice. So I just spoke it out: “A married couple here is considering divorce,” I said. “In fact, you’re planning on filing the papers this next week. And this is what I believe the Lord would say to you: ‘Don’t do it. Instead, go home, and during the next few weeks, treat each other the way you would if you truly loved each other. And treat each other the way you used to treat one another when you first met.’”
Sometime later the pastor of that church told me how accurate that word from the Lord had been. That a couple in that exact situation had indeed been in the service, and that taking that advice had actually saved their marriage.
God is good, and He knew what they needed. It was about what they saw when they looked at one another. It was about focusing on the good, rather than the bad. And consequently, about how they treated each other: it was about focus, respect, and kindness.
My wife and I have been married longer that some reading this have been alive. And all this time we’ve been blessed with a wonderful, loving marriage. In fact, because of this, we’re often asked if we’re newlyweds. Others, who know better, often ask how they can have a marriage like ours. And my answer is always the same: Focus on the best in one another. And be kind. Especially, be kind.
David Stearman is a songwriter and recording artist turned novelist, who specializes in romantic and adventure stories. His love for nature and travel is reflected in his writings, which often feature scenes set in exotic locales.
#Blogwords, New Week New Fact, #NWNF, Guest Post, David Stearman, The Grace of Kindness, Hummingbird, Falling for Chloe