WELCOME to my PARTY!!!
The month of November is a special time for me:
my second novel and sequel to
the second in the unsavory heritage series,
will be available 30 November on Amazon
GUEST POST by ANNE EVANS
Adoption’s a bit of a buzzword these days. Recently, I was reading a novel where adoption was mentioned. In the novel, everyone came to a party to celebrate the adoption of . . . a healthy, white, infant girl. Do you know how many families are waiting for healthy, white, infant girls? And I’m so glad they’ll experience a family’s love.
But what if a child needing a family’s love is an African-American male teen? Or a six-year-old with hearing loss from previous abuse? Whenever I think of adoption, I think about Amanda Coleen William’s beautiful song, Nobody’s Child. And just the lyrics alone are enough to break my heart every time.
I’m not a bad kid
I’ve done nothing wrong
But I’m a sad kid
With no place to call home . . .
Cause they all want a baby
Not a twelve year old girl
Adoption, it’s not just the babies that need a family. And family is such an important thing.
I was born the second child out of four. I think of my parents and all the time and effort and love they invested in me and continue to invest me. How could I ever be the person I am today without their investment? What chance do these kids waiting for adoption have without that thing that most of us take for granted—a family’s love?
Along with Helen Cochrane, a talented illustrator from the U.K., I wrote a children’s book about adoption, “What’s a Forever Family?” for National Adoption Month. It’s available on Amazon. The book tells the story of three children who find a forever home. It’s written from the perspective of the biological child in the family.
In the U.S. this year alone over 100,000 children in foster care are waiting to be adopted. This year alone, over 20,000 of them will age out without ever finding a forever family. Why is no one adopting these older children?
As a licensed foster parent, I’ve spent a lot of time around people who are interested in adopting. The reasons many of them only want babies is 1. They adore the baby stage and don’t want to miss it and 2. They think a baby will be more readily molded to become like them.
Now, granted babies are adorable. But they’re also fussy, little, diaper-soiling machines who wake you up every hour all night long. Or, at least, my son was. And now that he’s fast approaching four, I’m realizing that I love his new age and stage a lot more than his infancy. Sadly, in foster care, by the time a child hits the age of four, he is looked upon as less adoptable. And by the time a child reaches six, he fast approaches the age where finding him a forever home may never happen. I want to cry every time I hear that. Six-year-olds are still so little, so precious, in need of so much love. How could anyone ever say a six-year-old is unadoptable?
As for the second reason people don’t adopt, I always have to laugh when someone says they want a baby because babies are more malleable. I have a biological son; I have biological siblings. I, or my parents, can tell you that even a child you nurtured every moment from the womb onward has a mind of his own. And if you’re thinking your biological child will turn out like you, good luck! You’ll need it.
And, in truth, though I have many dreams for my son, none of them involve him turning out just like me. I want to discover his interests and talents and help him pursue those to the best of his ability.
That’s one of the beautiful things about older child adoption. Unlike an infant who mostly needs food and snuggles, older children have well-developed personalities. When adopting an older child, you get to interact with a person who has his own thoughts, desires, and experiences. And you get to embark on the joyous discovery of getting to know that person.
I remember the day I met a girl who would become one of my best childhood friends. I was fourteen; she was sixteen. I met her the week she was adopted from overseas. She couldn’t speak my language. We just smiled and made some awkward attempts at playing sports together. Through the following weeks and months, she learned English and I tried to learn a word or two of Russian, and we started to talk. I was fascinated by her stories of life in a different country and what it felt like to live in an orphanage.
She’s an amazing mom of two children now.
I would like to adopt an older child someday and I can only imagine the process of getting to know that child will be just as mind-opening. It’s so much fun discovering an older child’s personality. They come to you with their own skills and likes and dislikes already formed, and what an amazing journey to discover who they are.
Adoption, no matter the child’s age, is a vitally important thing, yet so many children suffer for the lack of it. Nonprofit organizations have said that if every church in America adopted only one child from foster care, there would be no more waiting children.
It’s such a simple thing really, a home, a family, love, guidance. And yet for lack of it, hundreds of thousands of children worldwide suffer daily. Ever think you might want to be part of changing that cycle? Adoption from foster care is free. All you have to do is call your county agency.
If you haven’t already, be sure to stop by and like my Facebook page, follow me on Twitter, on my blog! Please leave me a comment, let me know you’re here!
“I once said I should write down all the story ideas in my head so someone could write them someday. I had no idea at the time that someone was me!
Ms. Mason has been writing since 1995, and began working in earnest on her debut novel, Tessa in 2013. Meanwhile, she cranked out a few dozen poems, and made countless notes for story ideas. Ms. Mason lived with depression for many years, and the inherent feelings of worthlessness and invisibility; she didn’t want to be who she was and struggled with her own identity for many years. Her characters face many of these same demons.
Ms. Mason has lived in the Upstate of South Carolina since 1988. She lived in Colorado for sixteen years, during which time she: went to high school, got married, had babies, got divorced and went to college. Her “babies” are now grown, two have babies of their own. She currently lives alone, with her five cats.
Ms. Mason writes Christian-worldview–in other words, there’s no salvation message, but there are plenty of characters who know the Lord and share His perspective with those who are struggling.
#CLARABESSRELEASEDAY, #guestpost, #annegarboczievans, #adoption, #foreverfamily